its been a few days. Keeping really busy, which is good. I've had some really great practice days, and then some not so good ones lately. I'm starting to relax more. (believe it or not) lol It helps when the guys don't put pressure on me, but sooner or later I'll have to deal with the pressure so I might as well get used to it and find a way to turn pressure into positive practice energy. :)

Wind Symphony was odd today...Colin was squirrely, and Ostrander kept making references to a toasted marshmallow and tree sap. It was just an odd day....not sure how much I learned, but I played better than I have in awhile. Practiced my solo, its coming along nicely. Grondahl is one of my favorite pieces so far...however the David Konzertino is still on top of my list.

Going to out eat w/Heather soon, so that'll be great as always. Gotta love the Caf. :P Then raquetball tonight! YAY!

Love,
Rachel

well things are starting to get back on track. Had a good day today, full of new stuff. New schedule, new student, new work ethic. I still have a long way to go, but talking with PAO really helped ease my mind on a few issues. So I am pumped for this semester. :)

The boyfriend came over for awhile this evening. He continues to amaze me more with each passing day...I never knew someone could be so supportive & caring, yet expect so much from me at the same time. Its an odd combination, but a good one. All you ladies who didn't date him before are definately missing out on an incredible person. Ok, I'm done gushing now. hehe

Hmmm...I have to get going now...this time management schedule definately helps quite a bit. Its theory studying time, although I find it difficult to study for that sort of thing. I guess just reviewing the rules will suffice.

Love,

Rachel

I'm starting to get really exhausted. Mentally and physically. I just feel like I have no energy, and no matter how hard I work, I just don't get the job done. Its scary to feel like this, and I hate it. Talking with Becker today helped lots, but even so I still feel uneasy. So I think I'm going to talk to Dr.Ostrander tomorrow. It seems like since he sent me that really complimentary email things have gone downhill. Maybe I'm trying too hard to live up to expectations. I just want to play music like I know I can, and love doing it. It sucks picking up the horn and dreading what sound might come out. Time to get some things straight.

I begin lesson teaching tomorrow, gotta admit I'm really excited. My student is a 10 year old girl who luckily converted from trumpet before it was too late. (hehe) I can't wait to get her excited about music and teach her how to play a superior instrument. (*just playin' all you trumpet players out there. ;)

I think I'm going to take some time off of AIM, but I'll probably keep blogging. It gives me a chance to relax and think over the events of the day. Today was pretty much the worst day I've had at collge, all kinds of things seemed like they went wrong. Lucky for me I have some great friends who stick by me when shit happens. Thanks guys, I owe you one. (or 20) lol.

Time to get some time scheduling done, if you want to reach me over the next few days, my cell will be on.

Love,

Rachel

hanging out at Haas right now, taking a 10 minute break from Kopprasch. (*shudder) Ostrander definately gave me a tough etude this week...I think he's punishing me for playing crappily at my lesson. hehe. Oh well, I guess the more he challenges me the harder I'll work and the better I will become, so that is reassuring.

Like I said, I've been having a few bad days of playing. Brad was right, I needed to take a day or two off and then come back to it. I'm in the choir room right now, and my practice session is going well, so that is really encouraging as well. All the guys in the studio have been really supportive of me, and I can't thank them enough. Especially Colin, Becker, James and Kenyon. They always try to help me out, even when they don't have the time. Hopefully soon I'll be able to play trombone just to enjoy the music instead of beating myself up mentally every time.

Outside the world of trombone...I had a really nice late Valentine's Day celebration on Saturday evening. Becker took me out to dinner at Ciconies Italian Restaurant (good food! :) and then we had a romantic evening watching Team America - the unrated version of course. hehe. He bought me really beautiful roses in a vase, which are hanging out in my room right now. :) What a guy. :)

Miss my family lots right now, its kind of lonely living in the dorms sometimes, especially with no roomate. Heather is great, I get to see her lots, she has graciously allowed me to invade her room almost every night to watch some CSI/Law & Order and do homework. :P She'll definately be a great roomate this coming fall.

Well, that was about 10 minutes worth of bloggage, so that means its time to get back to trombone and probably some piano in a little bit. :)
Thanks for reading.


Love,
Rachel

Last night was sweet. It was nice to hang out with my guy and see all the SAI girls a little more relaxed. (hehe) This will be a short entry, seeing as I'm really tired, didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night. I only had like 4 beers and then a bit of Malibu....I didn't measure how much I took though, Brad just handed me the bottle and was like "drink it down." LOL. Anyways, it was a great night, I definately missed the dance parties.

In other news, I have a lesson with Dr.Ostrander tomorrow, should be a good one. I've worked really hard this week especially trying to make sure all my lesson preparations are done. A rochut, 2 Kopprasch studies, 2 excerpts and the first movement of a new solo. I just want to make sure that I do things well, thats all. :)

Got a sweet new book yesterday from that bass trombone guy, I'll have to get started reading that one. Hopefully that will help me allow myself to become better at trombone instead of holding myself back. I guess its just really hard right now, everyone keeps saying how great Koble is at jazz. Well, I'm glad for him, its just a little painful to me is all. So I will just have to suck it up and come back and play better this fall. :)

Time for me to go back to bed for an hour...then maybe lunch with Kate or Heather. :)

Love,
Rachel

long week, however I feel I made some great progress on trombone and stuff! :) So that makes the long days worth it 10x over. Tonight I'm going to The House, don't know if there will actually be a party, but I know they were considering it. Too bad that so many of the guys who live there are so paranoid about parties. Others seem to think they are too cool for The House. Whatever, they should go suck it. Next year's house will be fun, even if Justin does move in. hehe.

Hung out with Kate for a bit...got to watch some tv and stuff, that was really nice. I miss having a tv in my room. Internet is nice, but I definately miss my CSI! :P Time to get ready to go over to The House, I'll write more tomorrow probably.

Love,
Rachel

first night I was able to spend with the SAI girls in awhile. I am so looking forward to rushing, but I know I can't until this fall. Its too expensive right now, but I know I will rush if I have the money. :) We played poker tonight, and I did ok for not playing in a long time, however Justin cleaned the board several times. *cough* JERK *cough* *cough*. lol Becker walked me all the way back just to spend time with me....even though its like minus 40 out. What a guy.

trombone is coming along, I can almost lip trill now, I've been slowly working for about a week, and that is REALLY exciting. It will be nice to have figured out how to do something like that on my own. (well, Randy did give me a few tips today, but ya know)

Not a whole lot else happening, however I did receive a very encouraging email from someone (won't say who). It really made my day, and definately encouraged me to keep going on trombone and that I am making huge strides. Someday I will play as well as Colin, Kenyon, James and Randy. :)

Love,

Rachel

this'll be a short entry, seeing as I am currently at work. (aka Music Library at Haas).

Its been a crazy couple of days, and I'm not really sure why. I haven't done anything out of the ordinary...but I guess the getting up at 6 and playing at Haas by 7 can really throw off the schedule a bit. Oh well, gotta suck it up and get used to it.

Lots of people irritating me lately. They pretend to be joking, but I can tell that they are really serious. Maybe I'll say something next time...I'm sick of being "made fun of" for doing a good job at stuff. Oh well.

Thats all right now, its time for the weekend to begin...gotta admit I'm really looking foward to it. (even though it somewhat began last night.) ;)

Love,
Rachel

I will stop being frustrated with myself, I promise. I always get more done that way...I guess its just hard to change the way you think after such a long time . 8+ years of beating myself up whenever I make a mistake (in music generally) can definately take a toll on one's self esteem. It's nice that there are so many encouraging people here...thanks, you all know who you are.

Good day, played a routine at 7, and then played another routine at 9 with Master Yardley. Don't know why I was so scared of that guy earlier this year...he's pretty much one of the more awesome people that I know. :)

Time for bed, 7 am routine with Becker tomorrow morning. whoo. :)

Love,
Rachel